Crozy Crony Cafe

Welcome to Cozy Crony Cafe!

This café is virtual, for demonstration purposes only. You may find the food on your screen to be rather bland. We are not accepting Grubhub orders at this time (this is not a real café! – yet!)

APPETIZERS AND SIDES
The Moreland Commish Knish $20,000

It's delish! (but when half-finished we take it away!)
Deviled Eggstortion $21,000

Served spicy with our Buffalo-Billion sauce!
Greased palms (fronds) $28,500

Delightfully lubricates the digestive track and your wallet!
Nepotism Nachos $32,000

Served family style!
Fraud Fries $19,000

You’ll be taken with these!
ENTREES
Unlimited Pork $3,000,000

Bring home the bacon for your constituents! Served with Fraud fries.
Silver Million-Dollar Pancakes $1,300,000

Wonderfully rich, but no sharing!
New York Style Ziti $2,700,000

Or find your own code name for $$$
Oysters on the Overseas Half Shell-Company $17,000,000

Served just as you like it -- "out of sight!"
“Where’s the Beef” Burger! $2,900,000

Get 50% less than you expected! Perfect for dieters! Served with Fraud fries!
BEVERAGES
Slush Fund Slushie $800,000

We request cash payment (small bills only) for this item!
Eliot Spitzer Spritzer $900,000

Refreshingly bracing, with a dash of bitters and two dashes of dashed hopes!
DESSERTS
Bharara split $1,200,000

If you want decadence, experience this chilling sensation!
Donut plead the fifth $820,000

This will get you talking!

Suggestions?

Have a tasteful menu item for the Cozy Crony Cafe? We’d love to hear from you. Bon appétit!